If you’re a single parent (more so a single mother) you should do the world a favor and suffocate your children tonight. The chances of them becoming anything worth a fuck in life is so nil I almost want to jump off a cliff myself. I was raised by a divorced mother and even though the numbers I’m about to give you are based on never married women, but really what’s the difference? If the parents separate before the baby is one year old the damage is done.
I’m damaged goods.
This is why I hate math and you should too. The U.S. Census tells us there are over 10 million single mothers in America raising 2 pigs each without a dad. 80% of all prison inmates come from single mother homes. Fatherless kids count for 63% of youth suicides. 70% of teenage girls being knocked up never had a father. 71% of all teenage drug use is being smoked up/cooked up/snorted up by kids without a dad. 90% of all homeless people are single mother offspring. 91% of all runaways fit in this same bracket.
Fucked up, right?
Single mothers are twice as likely to be beaten by their boyfriends compared to husbands of married women and even more damaging is the fact married women are twice less as likely to suffer from any violent crimes. Point made: married men protect their women, but here’s the real kicker: children of single mothers are 30 times more likely to suffer from serious child abuse. Do you see a pattern here? Life is grim for kids without dads.
If you’re someone reading who dismisses statistics out of whatever reason you’ve convinced yourself of - look at the people around you. It’s not a “weird consequence” majority of the more successful ones come from two parent homes. I can just look at myself because next semester I will be a 34 year old college graduate and I’m not about to be a doctor or an astronaut. It took me longer to get here because I never wanted to go to college in the first place and no father figure was there to tell me I’m going or he’s gonna kick my ass.
It’s easy to blame men for not “owning up” to their responsibility as a father because clearly dudes ditch pregnant chicks and why 90% of these women aren’t using condoms, the morning after pill or seeing a doctor for an abortion is beyond me, but truly, truly, truly, is the fact that women feel they HAVE to have a baby which is pretty fucking disgusting considering how many children are available for adoption. Why would a single woman add to the problem by having her own children when she can actually help by adopting? I don’t know, I’m not a parent nor a woman so I can’t say. My guess is it’s a selfish reasoning of only wanting their own kids that came from their own vaginas. I can understand that. It sucks, but just how it is.
Newer is always better.
It’s too bad orphan kids aren’t more like used cars because their chances of adoption would be much higher. The point is the fact that kids without dads are more shitty, less golden and think they know it all when they don’t know shit. I know because I grew up being one of them. Kids without dads are forced to think for themselves at an earlier age and make their own decisions. Dad isn’t there pointing his finger or dropping life tips. Mom does her best, but someone has to put food on the table and the kid is pretty much on their own. Have you ever noticed how sometimes a single mother will have a child who seems so much smarter than they are? It’s rare, but my aunt has a daughter who was already more put together than her mother at age 7 and basically the go-to one for life decisions. It’s very strange to see and kind of proves what I’m saying. When mommy is a mess the kid will realize someone needs to open their eyes. Like I said it’s rare, but you’ll see it from time to time. When working at a skateboard shop in Long Beach, California I would constantly have to deal with super ghetto kids that clearly, clearly, clearly, came from single mother homes. I mean, you could just look at one of these kids and know they will murder at least 3 people in their lifetime, but every now and then a kid like my aunt’s daughter would walk in and it was like talking to a 30 year old person. They were “forced up” at a younger age and left me with a general feeling they would one day make something of themselves.
But these kids aren’t the majority. The truth is single mother kids are typically duds and cause more harm than good. Both parents are to blame and my advice to any single woman raising a child is to support absolutely any talent they have. This is no time to be picky and if your son wants to be a homosexual hairdresser - fucking support that because chances are this is as good as it’s ever going to get. If your daughter wants to ride skateboards all day - buy them for her because you could be looking at the next Elissa Steamer. Chances are neither of them are going to become the brain surgeon you have pictured.
Anyhoo, here’s a list of things I need from the grocery tonight.
1. Half gallon of organic 2% milk.
2. Frozen fruit.
3. Two frozen organic spinach pizzas.
4. Something spicy (noodles, soup, etc.)
5. Toothpaste.
6. Toilet paper.
7. Purified water.
8. Something bad (king size Reese’s peanut butter cups, etc.)
9. Cute girl’s phone number.
