Absolutely and these men are called homosexuals. Women love nothing more than a gay man. Mostly because homosexual men will shower them with compliments and gossip for hours over the different cut-throat bitches they’d both like to see thrown under a bus. Women need that gossip. They need these compliments because without them their self-esteem will slowly dissolve into a puddle of piss and what’s left is a woman who shares four hour conversations with her pets.
That cat wants to kill itself.
She’s got this feline lifted up in her face begging, “WHY WON’T A MAN JUST LOVE ME?!!”
And the cat doesn’t know – it doesn’t even fucking speak English, but she keeps feeding him Frisky Critters so the cat does its best to make eyes at her like, “Don’t worry, princess, your knight will come.”
I know because I once came home stoned and had a three hour conversation with my Golden Retriever over whether or not I thought Cool Ranch was by far the best flavor of Doritos on the planet.
I really don’t understand these men out there who hate homosexuals and wish to cause them physical harm. Do they not have any idea what this world would be like without homosexual men?
Fucked up.
Women would be utterly and uselessly lonely blowing their brains out left and right, straight men would be forced into listening to their wife’s senseless bullshit for hours on end and you can forget about sex. Or at least good sex, that is. A woman with no self-esteem equals a stiff corpse in the sheets. Who wants to fuck a corpse? It’s awful. She’s just lying there silently with her fists up to her cheeks waiting for you to finish while you’re huffing & puffing and thinking to yourself,
“Move girl! Do something! Shit.”
Then you bust your mediocre nut and roll off her already searching for a way out of this relationship before your head hits the pillow. Nobody wants that and a woman without a homosexual male in her life is a very unhappy pussy. What I’m saying is that bitch might snap and stick a knife in her boyfriend’s back unless he starts making her feel beautiful.
But the thing is straight men are only capable of dishing out a certain style of compliment.
A straight man says some shit like, “Have I told you how beautiful you are tonight? I want to eat that dress you’re wearing, what do you have on underneath it?”
It’s all based on sex - whereas a gay dude will go beyond that giving a woman self-worth and direction.
A gay man will compliment as woman as follows, “Girl, your skin looks amazing. I bet if you used some of that (insert expensive fancy skin lotion brand here) your skin would look better than Halle Berry in sunshine!”
Or some shit, I don’t know. The point is later that night back at home she isn’t annoying the living hell out of her husband, but instead in the bathroom mirror playing with skin lotions while smiling to herself over her complimented complexion. She feels warm and her husband is just as ecstatic because she isn’t anywhere near him. This of course equals the two of them fucking like rabbits come midnight. Do you see what I’m saying? Gay men equal happy housewives with chardonnay buzzes and willing to suck their husband’s dick for hours.
I don’t understand these people who hate gay men. When I see a gay dude, I’m like fuck that and ask if he’s willing to hang out with my girlfriend for a few hours because I want to get laid later that night. These hate crime mother fuckers need to get with the program. It’s no wonder they’re pissed off, no women are sucking their cocks.
But the question remains: can a straight man and woman be friends? The answer is – kind of. It’s extremely rare, but every now and then two people of the opposite sex can find themselves in a perfectly healthy friendship with no need for anything more. I know this because I’m one of the few men who share a longtime platonic friendship with a female. I’m talking about the real deal. None of this one is secretly in love with the other bullshit and breaks down one rainy night to confess like a John Hughes movie with a Simple Minds song in the background. It’s basically like a lesser connection one might share with a brother or sister. It’s really no different than a friendship with another man other than the conversation topics are going to be slightly altered. For instance, I would never go to one of my guy friends crying like a bitch over a broken heart or why whatever woman won’t love me. This is the kind of shit a man goes to his female friends for and of course after spilling his guts, she goes and tells all her friends what a pussy you are. If you’re a man with a platonic female friend and think you’re going to somehow get laid with one of her friends – you can quench your mind of it. They all know what a pussy you are.
And it’s completely vice versa. If you have a female friend who basically views you as a homosexual man without the meaningful compliments, she’s going to tell you all the crazy god awful shit that really goes on in that head of hers. Plus she’s going to hang around you with no makeup on and possibly rip ass while telling a story and then look at you like, “meh” she really couldn’t give a fuck. At this point they’re like a dude in your eyes and the platonic relationship is set in stone on both ends. There will never be a day when neither of you look at the other in any kind of warm light.
Game over.
But enjoy the friendship because women can be pretty fucking funny sometimes. That plus you can put drinks on their tabs because what are they going to do kick your ass?
And just like that a man and woman are perfectly capable of being friends. The only reason I said “kind of” is simply because men and women have absolutely no business being friends in the first place. Men are assholes and women are fucking annoying – everyone knows this. Who the fuck wants to hang out with a woman? I do it all the time, it’s awful. You can forget about doing anything you want to do because it’s their way or the highway and here’s the beauty of the situation. You can take that fucking highway. You’re not married; you don’t owe this person anything. You’re free to ditch that bitch at any second - just as she’s free to explain you can go to hell for putting all those drinks on her tab and split. It’s actually a very functioning situation because both parties are free to do whatever the hell they want and of course what that really means is the man is forced to do what she wants until eventually throwing his arms in the air and telling the ceiling, “Alright fuck this, I’m leaving.”
Men and women can be friends, sure, but she would be much happier if that man was a homosexual and he’d have a much more enjoyable experience talking about tits & ass with his homeboys.
So the answer to the oldest question in history is – kind of.
